jusayange

"In every bunch there's one who stands out - and you are that one."

Numerous times, I have started to write journals but can never seem to remember to continue writing in it.  I decided since the means to be able to constantly write into this journal that I would start one, again.  I have a lot on my mind these days and events that occurred which I do not wish to forget.  

My online endeavors have led me to meet someone.  I met Eileen at the 61st Woodside train station.  We set off for the city and she showed me around.  I felt sort of embarrassed because I should know a bit more about my own city.  I thought she was a conservative girl as my first impression.  She has a touch of the 'skater' style.  

We kept walking until it was past midnight. I certainly received my exercise for the day!

We saw each other time after time since then.  We talked extensively online through various instant messengers.  I stayed in her room one night and slept on the floor.  She woke me up and told me to sleep next to her.  

We saw movies at the theater. We went bowling. We talked at Flamingo's a couple of hours past midnight.  We drove to the Brooklyn Bridge in the middle of night.  

Despite all of the aforementioned, I didn't think that she liked me.  I cannot read any sort of emotion from her that would suggest that she likes me.  The fault still lies in me, though.  I should have known that any girl that would be willing to go on a drive in the middle of night for absolutely no reason is not something a person would do for just anybody.

Things get more complicated, things that are not worth mentioning. It doesn't matter anymore.  The only words that stuck with me from her were: "I don't want you liking me, anymore."  She also stated that I give off bad vibes.  I was a little hurt immediately upon hearing this but I realized that I shouldn't dwell on this matter for too long.

Life's too short is what they always say.

So what did I learn from this?
Fate has taken its course since day one.

I reacted to outside pressure and in turn, lost everything.

This is how the story ends.

I met this girl online. At first we started with the usual online chats and finally moved on to actually meeting in person.  I was surprised I wasn't stood up because I think it takes more courage for a girl to meet someone from internet chatrooms.  Over time, I gradually start liking her.  I like her. We always laugh and I just have so much fun being with her. Even though sometimes we just sit there...I'm happy. I'm happy that I'm there sitting next to her.  At first I wasn't certain if I should think about having a relationship with her but now I am certain that I want to.  I really want to ask her and I was supposed to ask her last night but alas, I didn't.  Stupid me.  I don't even know why I'm making this harder than it should be.  I have to be a man and just go for what you want.  It's not like I'm not sure if she likes me or not...because she already admitted to liking me.  Now you're probably thinking that I'm an even bigger idiot for now asking her knowing this about her.  Well, I will...I want to hold her hands...and kiss her so bad...

Siigh.

I can't believe I am back! I am finally out the Navy. The last time I wrote here, I was still had two years to go. It's now 2005 and this is my first journal entry as a civilian. I will be uploading a lot of new pictures here. It's time to get active again

I write..Good ol' duty day on a friday. I won't be off until Saturday morning...hopefully. They have cut off chill water to my work space so it is quite warm in this room. They finally shipped my digital camera...it only took me 80 dollars worth of shipping and handling which is ridiculous in my opinion. Oh well, I just hope that everything arrives dentless. I have been reading a lot about the Photography terminology in a feeble attempt to learn the basics. I am asking around on how they did certain photos. I have been looking at some scenery photography and some of the pictures have some very beautiful scenery. I wonder where some of these places are. Most are in Europe, from what I can average out, so far.